How you can reach your goal by not telling someone he fucked up.

Something went wrong again and you're pissed. You're pissed that someone fucked up and you want to tell that person right in his face. Above all that person is blaming you! You didn't do anything wrong and you have proof. You're going to show that guy. Not only will he learn from it but it will feel good too 💪.

Hold on a second, Cowboy. There is this new, radical approach to life called "owning 100%" (I will write another essay about it). It means we don't let others control our fate. Hence, you have been wrong. It doesn't matter what happened, if it happened not the way you wanted, you're at fault. For not informing someone, for not overseeing something, for trusting someone.
It. is. your. fault.

Now that's hard to swallow, I know, but the hardest part is coming now: go to the person who you previously thought is at fault, and apologise for your mistakes. Daaaamn this takes courage and swallowing a lot of pride. I know, believe me. But here's why you should do it.

  1. Blaming each other is a waste of time. Think about what you actually want to achieve. I'm pretty confident it's not to be right about the issue. Nothing is gained from it, except pleasing your ego. Blaming will take hours while apologising takes 5 minutes after which you will solve the problem together immediately.
  2. Best case scenario when you throw your righteous anger at him is that working together will be harder in the future - it's probably much worse. When you apologise, your future work-relationship is saved and you still respect each other.
  3. You can be the bigger person.
  4. Everyone benefits (except your ego but who cares)

It's seriously a win-win situation. You walk out feeling good about making your coworker happy, solving the problem (fast) and making the first step towards a solution 👏. Try it during your next conflict, even if it's with a friend. Own it, and see how much faster you can move on with your life and how nobody cares about who was at fault after that.

Let me know how it went!

Cheers,
Sumit